First Person Singular
Department heads often speak of themselves as if they are the entire department. I ACed for a DP once who was continually saying things like, “I’m going to put the crane over there,” or “I’m gonna set the camera here.” No, you’re not. You’re going to tell the grips and ACs, and they’ll do it. […]
Late Night Tours
PAs are often in the office (or on the set) before anyone else, and they’re the last ones to leave. It’s fun, because the inmates are in charge of the asylum, at least for a little while. One of my favorite things to do at those times is to walk around the set. It’s a […]
“Hey… Guy!”
His name isn’t “Guy,” is it?
More Like Children Than Cats, Really
Since I had so much fun bagging on actors yesterday, I thought I’d do it again today. I’m petty like that. Really, since I’m Anonymous, this blog is about the only place I can vent my feelings about actors. Everyone treats actors like small, fragile children. They’re never allowed to hear any bad news, under […]
It’s Like Herding Cats. Confused, Obtuse, Narcissistic Cats.
(So, basically, like normal cats.) Dealing with actors is one of the least pleasant tasks of a PA. Just shuttling them from one end of the studio to the other can be a sisyphean task. They want to stop at [glossary slug=’craft-service’]crafty[/glossary], they want to swing by the production office, they have to talk to […]
How To Succeed in Hollywood by Really, Really Trying
If, by “succeed,” you mean get a job as a PA. Beyond that, I can’t really help you. Lisa Klink had a post yesterday about what us assistants look like when you’re a big time TV writer. (Okay, she’s not J.J. Abrams-type big time, but she’s certainly more impressive than me.) She wrote that she […]
Not In The Budget?
The agency I once worked for was across the street from a high school. My boss said he liked the location because it reminded him of the old saying, “Hollywood is just high school with money.” (His other favorite saying was, “Farmers farm, plumbers plumb, and agents lie.” I learned more from him than he […]
Shh… Don’t Tell Anyone.
I was delivering a script over the hill (killing trees and generating about 31 pounds of carbon dioxide). The actor’s house was in Venice, and I could literally smell the ocean breeze wafting through my open car window (with gas prices what they are, I sure as hell can’t afford to use the air conditioning). […]
A Derivative Post
John August has another one of his Scene Challenges up. The goal is to write a scene where one character explains to another what investment derivatives are. It was a difficult writing problem, since I have no idea what investment derivatives are. I’m #48.
A Clarification
Yesterday, I said writing is not producing. I didn’t mean that as an insult. When I came to LA to attend film school, I thought the writer was in charge of the filmmaking process. It turns out, I was wrong. People usually laugh at me when I relate that bit of youthful naiveté. Or they […]
“It’s exhausting but fun.”
No, I didn’t say that about being a PA. That’s Jane Espenson, talking about “producing.” I produced a sitcom pilot in film school. I asked my professor what, exactly, was a producer’s job. My professor said, “The producer is the guy who, when something goes wrong, fixes it, even if it means picking up a […]
Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee, A PA’s Life For Me!
First, Amanda the Aspiring TV Writer has an inspiring post. If you’re interested in writing, you should check it out. In that vein, I’d like to write my own heartwarming blog post. My wife told me that these posts have been really negative. That’s unfortunate, because I really do like my job. It’s certainly better […]