They’re, Their, Don’t Cry.
My wife sent me an e-mail regarding yesterday’s post— their – they’re – please correct, from your teacher wife This was followed by– I mean, there – whoops, says teacher wife I’m going to stop making fun of Quentin Tarantino, now.
Anti-Semitism
We have a new AD, and he seems like a douche. Of course, I think everyone’s a douche, so my impression may be skewed. Then again, maybe he is a douche. So, I asked my fellow PA, and he said, “Yeah, that’s what you get when you have someone who’s an AD and a Jew.” […]
A Moral Quandry
A conundrum, if you will. Today, I overheard the showrunner talking to some other person who gets paid enough to not know my name: “I don’t know what _____ is going to say when she finds out she doesn’t get one. We’ll just keep assigning them until there aren’t any left, and then we’ll see.” […]
My 100th Post! Or, Who Wants To Marry A Porn Star?
After 4 1/2 months, 85 Google searches for “king kong” (really?), 30 clicks on Dow Corning’s boob, several dead forests, and who knows how many complaints, I’ve finally reached one hundred posts! I don’t know if I accomplished my original goal of being more productive, but I have had fun. In the spirit of having […]
Politics in Hollywood
I don’t often talk about politics, but after two weeks of conventions, people aren’t talking about much else. Here’s a sampling of some of my Facebook friends’ status updates in the past couple weeks– B___ wishes he could write hilarity like Palin has foreign policy experience because “she’s up there in Alaska which is right […]
Rejected
I submitted a script to a screenwriter’s fellowship, and I finally got a response. Thank you for taking the time to fill out the submission material. We hope that you will understand that our admission process involves a variety of factors and that our decision in no way should be viewed as a reflection of […]
Akting!
I mock actors a lot, but sometimes, I really do feel sorry for them. For one thing, it’s the only line of work where age, sex, and racial discrimination is legal. You may be the best actress in the world, but you’ll never play Hamlet. You can’t have a black actor play a 1940s crime […]
Laborless Weekend
Sorry I missed a post yesterday, but I had no internet connection. Curse you, Apple eb770ed, for finally figuring out how to create a password! The only other router in range is labeled, simply, “STASH.” I’m just a white kid from the ‘burbs, but I do watch The Wire, where the dealers have a “no […]
Crackin’ Wise
One of our 2nd ADs just did one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. We’re shooting on location, and we have those “Filming in Progress” signs up all over the street. You know the ones, where they say, “If you’re in this area, we have the right to use your image and likeness.” I’m […]
Jinx
The other day, we had a stunt where a truck was supposed to crash into a tree, flip over on its side, then explode. For some reason. Everything was set up and ready to go, and I noticed there was an extra guy at each camera. I asked the stunt coordinator what the deal was, […]
The Highest Up
Today, I was on location, to get stuff signed by the UPM. While I was standing around, a set PA asked if I could go grab the executive producer (who was in a coffee shop down the street that had free wifi), and bring him to set. I wasn’t doing anything, so I said sure. […]
Giant Tennis Ball of Uselessness
This post goes in the “Things That Will Change When I’m In Charge” file. When you’re a producer, or a director, or even a department head, your every whim and wish is attended to by scores of underlings. You want a crane shot? How high? You need crystal plates on the table? Six or eight? […]