Perception

Do you ever have a very clear idea of who a person is, only to have that perception dashed by someone else’s viewpoint? I’m not talking about those who behave differently around their superiors. My old boss had the emotional maturity of an autistic seven year old with Asperger syndrome.  When his bosses were around, […]

Deliveries

There’s a simple way tell who the big actors are, and who have just started their careers: ask them if they would like script revisions e-mailed to them, or delivered to their house. The ones who’ve been around forever, the ones who aren’t worried about impressing anyone, say, “Go ahead and e-mail it to me.”  […]

Adventures of Link

Another anonymous film blogger has linked to last Friday’s post, for which I’m very grateful, since, like Ben “Yahtzee” Crowshaw, my self esteem directly correlates with the number of readers I have on any given day.  (This was particularly sad in the early days of the blog, when I averaged around eight readers daily, two […]

Whoooooo are you? Who, who? Who, who?

It’s virtually impossible to tell, by eye, an office PA from a young producer. Unstylish clothing, disheveled hair, four-day beard growth. (Of course, you’ll know immediately if you see them getting out of their car.) But if you see me on the set without a walkie or a pair of gloves on my belt, I […]

Code Talker

I am, by nature, a complainer.  It’s a personality flaw, I know.  At least I try to be funny about it, right? I try not to complain at the office, though.  For one thing, it does no good.  For another, others start to see you as a negative person, and they won’t want you around.  […]

A Tip for Production Assistants

When you go on a run, you’re generally expected to call the office after you’ve picked up or dropped off whatever it is you were supposed to to drop off or pick up. (I’m not sure how they did this before cell phones.  Did you go out with a roll of quarters in your pocket?) […]

I Hate Directors

You have to be at least slightly psychologically damaged to be above the line.  “Above the line” refers to producers, directors, writers, and actors, also known as “talent.” I refuse to call them “talent,” though.  If they’re talent, what the hell are the rest of us? I mean, it doesn’t take much talent to do […]

Pardon Me While I Complain a Bit

Today, my boss handed me a memo about tomorrow’s table read.  Time, location, who’s going to be there, things like that.  The memo is dated today, but in the body of the text, it reads, “tomorrow, August 21st.” Apparently, she copy-and-pasted an old memo.  Which is good, actually; ctrl-C, Ctrl-V is pretty advanced for someone […]

Something I Will Never Understand

Why is it that the three departments most concerned with an actor’s look (wardrobe, make-up, and hair) always look the worst? I’m a straight white guy, so I have no fashion sense. I really don’t care what my clothes look like; I have shirts that don’t match themselves.  But some of the things I see […]

Boredom

A lot of time on set is spent sitting around, waiting for other people to do their jobs. You gotta wait for the actors to block the scene, then wait for grips and electrics to light it, then camera has to set focus marks, then hair, make-up, and costume have to fix up the actors, […]

I Heart Teamsters

“How do you tell which kid is a teamster’s on the playground? He’s the one sitting around, watching the other kids play.” That’s not really fair. Teamsters have it tough.  They’re the first ones in, and the last ones out.  Their turn around times are frighteningly small.  Plus, everybody makes fun of them. Teamsters have […]

Movie Magic

I directed a short film earlier this year that prominently featured a pregnant woman.  In a burst of verisimilitude, we actually got a real pregnant woman to play the part.  She provided her own costume and baby bump and everything. Here’s the thing about maternity clothes, though– they’re designed to conceal, or at least de-emphasize, […]