You Can’t Go Home Again

I had dinner at my parents’ house, last night.  I noticed that the silverware  no longer had the flowery pattern I remembered from my youth.  Instead, there were these new, lighter forks and spoons with no pattern at all. This minor change from the last time I was here, a year ago, struck me surprisingly […]

Travels

I just returned home for Christmas. The trip was uneventful. By which I mean, my wife and I were stuck in O’Hare airport for six hours in the middle of the night, and there was nothing to do. Did you know they have a Brachiosaurus? (My spellchecker wants me to write “brontosaurus,” which is wrong.) […]

And While We’re on the Subject…

Coincidentally, John August was also dispensing career advice today. Very few others see such a jump in pay grade as the writer, but his advice is still probably good for anybody climbing up the Hollywood ladder. The one think I take issue with is his $850 per week figure. I don’t know any assistant making […]

Where to Begin…

Reader Robert has a few questions– I have no experience in the entertainment industry – do productions ever consider or hire candidates with absolutely no experience? Having no experience is one of the key qualifications of being a PA.  If you had experience, you’d find a better job. But the truth is, you do have […]

Sightings

The thing people in Los Angeles like to talk about most, besides an earthquake, is the last time they saw a celebrity. I’m not really sure why. Seeing famous people is a fairly common occurrence, here. (How we’re the 9th best city for people watching, I’ll never understand.) Just today, I passed an three-time Oscar […]

What a Waste

Making movies is a wasteful business. Back in the day, nothing was thrown out. You’d see the same Greco-Roman pillar in everything from Ben Hur to Caligula. No longer. Everything is either thrown away, or sold to prop houses. Which makes no sense to me. Why throw out the ten thousand outfits you made for […]

Not Impressed

People often ask why I don’t invite my wife to visit the set. She’s a civilian (what we call someone who doesn’t work in the industry), so everyone assumes that she’ll be impressed by all the lights and cameras and semi-famous people. The thing is, she will never, ever be impressed, especially not with the […]

I Want Answers!

In this blog, I generally hold court on the few topics I’m an expert at. I am just a PA, though, and there’s a few things I really don’t understand. Maybe one of my kind readers knows the answers. Why is the props department in charge of the director chairs? Not that I want more […]

Life Cycle of a Show (Act III)

Step Nine: The News You might think that there is a fixed schedule, by which you can determine when your time on a show will be up. You would be wrong. Even when you can see the ratings drop week by week, the producers put on a happy face. “They’re giving us time to find […]

Life Cycle of a Show (Act I)

Step One: Hear About the Show When you’re looking for a job, anything sounds good. “They’re strippers who are also spies? That’s totally plausible, and I wouldn’t be at all ashamed to tell my mom I worked on that movie.” Step Two: Research Once I decide to apply, I immediately IMDb everyone involved in the […]

Whenever

Do you ever get this at your work? “Hey, [your name here].  Can you do X?” “Sure.  When do you need it by?” “Whenever.” When, exactly, is “ever? ” Are we talking by the end of the day?  By the end of the week?  What? It’s worse when they give you multiple whenevers.  Which ever […]