Anonymous Assistant’s Annual Academy Awards Analysis!
Every year, Entertainment Weekly interviews prominent members of the Academy to find out who they’re voting for at the Oscars and why. But wouldn’t you much rather get your analysis from an underpaid twenty-something who has absolutely no influence on the Hollywood community whatsoever? I thought so. Welcome to the first ever AAAAAA! My reasoning […]
Do Your Own Damn Job
Reality TV shows don’t have “writers,” per se. They have what are called “story producers.” Their job is pretty much twofold. First, they come up with the wacky situations for the contestants to get into. They’re the ones who send the rich debutant to a farm, and the ghetto-fabulous girl to Morton’s. Once all this […]
Voice Mail
Pardon me if I’m stealing an old Seinfeld bit or something, but seriously, what is the deal with voice mail? When I call my voice mail at work, it asks for my number and password, as you’d expect. Then it says, “You have… ONE… message,” and you wait. And wait. And wait. “If you’d like […]
Fair’s Fair
I’m working on a friend’s web series. “Working” in sarcastic I’m-not-getting-paid quotes. But, like I said, he’s a friend, and it’s a funny show. It’s basically an extended version the “You Only Move Twice” episode of The Simpsons. (Well, not exactly, but I don’t want to give away more before they release it.) There’s a […]
Links! (So I Don’t Have to Write a Real Post!)
Things are picking up around work, so, in lieu of a real post here are a few fun links: Script Goddess has a great post about the little moments on set. Did you know there was a terrorist attack in New York? In 1920? I heard about it from a Slate podcast. While searching for […]
30 Rock Reconsidered
I got an unusually large number of comments on my 30 Rock post a couple weeks ago, so I thought I should respond. First of all, I grant that me watching a Hollywood show is like a geologist watching The Core. I just can’t help noticing all the details they get wrong. Eric said: I […]
Is “Guy” Gender Neutral?
I applied for a job last week. At the interview, they told me it came down to me and one other person. My prospective employer said they’d make their decision by Monday. On Tuesday, I called to see if they were still weighing their options, or if they went with the other guy. “The other […]
Placement
I was helping a friend with a short film over the weekend. I was the camera assistant, or “AC.” Don’t ask me why the letters get inverted in the acronym. It’s been a while since I’ve ACed, and to tell the truth, I forgot how much influence a camera assistant can have. I knew an […]
Poking the Frog
Every once in a while, the hype surrounding 30 Rock overwhelms me, and I decide to give it another chance. This is always a mistake. I can count on my hand the number of times I laughed at the show (“Did a Korean person die?”). I tend to turn it off after the teaser, when […]
Aspirations
Today, I was stuck on Sepulveda behind a BMW 750I. I’m not really sure what that is, but it looked very expensive. I took note because the car’s license plate frame was from my alma mater. This not an uncommon occurrence in Los Angeles. Many of our alumni have grown rich and successful in Hollywood. […]
Metric Time
Here’s a favorite joke from one of my student films– PRESIDENT: I want the file by oh-twenty-four hundred hours. CHIEF OF STAFF: Sir, twenty-four hundred would require a twenty-five hour clock. We’re not on metric time, here. Imagine my surprise when I was filling out my time card the other day. I had worked the […]
Political Hollywood Links
Cracked has a hilarious article about Magic Negros. Oh, man, I nearly peed my pants. – – – John Rogers has a confusedly worded, rambling diatribe on his blog. Once you get past the beginning, where he seems to be addressing some unspecified reader or readers, he makes some sound points: This is how it […]