Somehow, in the last year or so, it’s become a thing for the crew to become Facebook buddies with each other. Within a week of the first contact list being published, you can expect a dozen or more friend requests.
This is all fine and good, so long as we’re talking about the set PAs and assistant editors, or even the showrunner who doesn’t actually know who you are. But at some point, your boss will figure out how FB works and send you a request. I really wish they wouldn’t do that.
They’re putting you in a socially untenable situation. I mean, “boss” and “friend” are incompatible. Do they not realize that? But, of course, you can’t deny the friend request, either.
And now suddenly you can’t update your status with, “thinks his boss is a dimwit,” or “God, who watches this show?” Plus, posting photos of your weekend debauchery is probably not the best idea, either. I mean, I know this Hollywood, but still.
It’s like friending your mom– bad idea, but only one of you seems to know it.
And while we’re on the subject, try the Facebook Drinking Game!
9 Responses
Nathan, that only works well if you don’t have mutual friends. I found out I was unfriended when a common friend commented on the defriender’s photos and I realized she’d defriended me. Facebook is actually an interesting crucible in that respect. Sometimes you find out that you have much more in common with casual acquaintances than you ever knew, and become closer as a result. And sometimes you find out that when casual friends get to know what’s really on your mind (or you find out what’s on theirs) you all realize that you’re not really compatible after all. You’re right to be careful with professional relationships, though!
If you don’t want to go the separate accounts route, the best way to handle this is to create different lists of friends, and set your privacy permissions so that only people on a certain list can see your status updates (mine is called “People who can see my status updates”) . You can do the same things with photos and other parts of your profile.
This is why all my work buddies are on a separate Facebook account and my first one is locked up tighter than a Saxon virgin on her wedding night.
I’m pretty sure that you can “unfriend” someone without them knowing about it.
The best of all worlds!
one solution: just don’t make your name searchable on Facebook. My family has no idea that I’m on FB (I refuse to “friend” my family members or anyone at work). I have lied to many people that I do not use FB, when in fact I do. My name doesn’t come up in search results. I only add friends that I’m actually *friends* with.
I don’t want my mom to know my latest status update: “Sabina is feeling horny and wishes she could have sex with that Marine Punk guy today.”