The Anonymous Production Assistant

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Life Cycle of a Show (Act II)

And now, the continuing saga of every show I’ve ever worked on.

Step Five: Know the Job
If all goes well, each job will be an improvement over the last.  Higher pay, better title, more responsibility.  Well, that last one isn’t that great, but hey, what are you gonna do?

Step Six: Fake It
An inevitable consequence of step five is that someone will ask you to do something you’ve never done before.  But I say, believe in yourself!  More importantly, make your boss believe in you!  Don’t let a little lack of knowledge disabuse your employer of their illusion that you are an expert in all things.

“Do you know how to make sides?”

“Of course!  Done that a thousand times!  Who hasn’t?  But, everyone makes them a little differently.  Why don’t you show me what you prefer?”

Step Seven: Get Acquainted
On the first day, nobody likes me.  But after wiping my tears with toilet paper from the bathroom stall, I do eventually make friends, while quietly resenting my enemies on an anonymous blog.  Which brings me to…

Step Eight: Make Enemies
There’s always at least one person that I grow to vehemently hate on every crew.  Usually it’s my boss.  My wife thinks I have a problem with authority, but I don’t know where she’d get that idea.

I only have two days left on my current show, but luckily, I found my nemesis just under the wire.  This guy thinks I’m a reactionary, right-wing hate monger because I’m not fond of the idea of trying a sitting president for war crimes. Go fig.

That’s it for now.  Tomorrow: Wrap!

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4 Responses

  1. Most leaders convicted of war crimes were either still seated in power at the time or were tried just after their stepping down from office. Just sayin’

  2. Just send that douchebag my way and I’ll give him what-for. You’re one of the nicest reactionary, right-wing hate mongers I’ve run across in ages!

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