Code Talker

I am, by nature, a complainer.  It’s a personality flaw, I know.  At least I try to be funny about it, right?

I try not to complain at the office, though.  For one thing, it does no good.  For another, others start to see you as a negative person, and they won’t want you around.  In a business built on personal relationships, this is bad.

Instead, I complain to my wife.  She’s a very patient and understanding person.  Plus, she thinks I’m funny at least, oh, 25% of the time.

The tricky part comes when I’m on the phone in the office.  It’s risky talking about my Luddite boss’s fear of computers and cell phones and, you know, the wheel.

If (when) someone I’m talking about walks in, I find it’s best to not try to hide the fact that you’ve been talking about the office.  Instead, I’ll say to my wife, “Oh, yeah, Jim/Frank/Carla/Debbie is still here.”

That way, my wife knows somebody just walked in, but that person doesn’t know I’ve been talking about them.  Sometimes I’ve even continued the conversation, using only pronouns.  “Yeah, they’re an idiot, but it’s not like they know it!”

It’s a simple trick to keep me out of trouble.

Am I a bad person?